something new to me

It is still hard for me to do this to my friend. But I am learning and trying to feel close to people. Sometimes, I am too scared to be close to my beloved ones. Because I know we have to say goodbye eventually once we hug each other.


Real Hug

before you
leave
you said
give
me one

We are not alone

2012 Wish List

2012

Dear 2011,

You will be gone in five hours. I have been thinking of writing something about you. Yes. Thinking about it. Not writing about it. Thinking about writing about it. I want to make a list of the great things that I have been done with you. Here it is the list:

1. Making crazy no/low budget films
I have been on many different film sets this year, these experiences were much different than filming in Hollywood (I guess). I believe the process of student making films are the most creative ones. As demonstrating the idea of what Jonathan said, student filmmaking: poor man process + the art possible. We totally dived into it this year. I still could not forget that night: Helping out to film on Granville Island's parking lot. We have been dragging the lights/power cables throughout the windy night with pouring rain. I was so scared that one of us would be shocked by the electricity. Luckily, we were all safe. That's the coldest night I remember in 2011: shivering, walking around with running nose, ... ewww... so much fun.

Other than that night, I have been making my film with my fellows from 9pm till 2am, an outdoor shoot. That was an incredible lucky night for me because of the weather and the great people I were working with. Thank you for your (you know who you are) tolerance for taking so many bus rides and standing the cold and rain at night.

I felt more connected to the crazy film students at Emily Carr, those who were not scared of electric shock / rain / wind / height / got caught / breaking cameras, those who really enjoy making films. We might not met the industry standard. That's the most exciting part to see in our films: crossing the line, out focus, under exposed, dirty background...and so on, things you cannot see in Hollywood films.

2. Writing papers
I have been bad this year. About writing, as you could see my record of writing this blog. There are not too many entries. Reasons? I don't know, too much work? No way. Too much reasons of not writing things down are my reasons. Anyway, I have been writing a very special paper since I could not get any interviewee to interview. I made a twist of interviewing myself - such an ignorant act. Talking to myself is a bit normal, but when I started writing about it. I felt like... I am Woody Allen. Luckily, my teacher liked it and I felt relieve in such a hectic semester. Most of the papers I wrote in this semester were not as great as they were, because I always wrote them in last minute. Now, I wrote this down and hope I won't do this again.

3. Facebook
I spent too much time on it. From now on, I have to stop myself from being too addicted to you, facebook.

4. Lost
I have been losing things lately, which I do not understand why. A pair of expensive headphones, an umbrella, water bottle... were all gone. They seemed disappeared in just a week. At the end, things in your life will be gone, maybe I should just let it go.

5. A Chinese Banquet
I could not believe I still have chance to eat such good food with 11 people sat together on a round table. Thank you Little Linus’s birthday invitation. At the same time, I missed having a long dinner with my family.

6. An Eight-speed Raleigh Twenty
Thank you Alissa for making an 8-speed bike for my birthday. Although I never ask for it =P I actually feel good when I could ride my bike back from school and figured out I could get on that little steep slope. The investment of this bike had been accumulated to $300 and will be up on the coming month. Just one question, When can I own a car / an electric bike?

7. A job
Not for me. But a job for you. I feel happy and proud of you.

8. A Cat Tree
That changes my cat's life. Now she enjoy most of the time being high.

9. Writing the night before 2012
Finally, this year came to an end. This 2012 ball is for my friends and family. I don't think you understand what I drew. Just get whatever you want to get from it.

Wish you a merry 2012. See you next year!

I.D.

This is my second year Video art class project. Thank you for the 5 persons who participated in this project, who inspire me all the time.



I.D., a short form for “identity”, a symbol that represents the meaning of identity. Similarly, elements I received from three of the five people are symbols. I also received a photo of me and my sister when we were young. All elements seem like codes that reveal my identity. On the other hand, I recognized that identity appeared in a fluid form rather than a fixed object. It is because there are multiple meanings interacting with each element. This made me wonder whether a symbol, languages or a still photograph can speak for themselves. Do we share the same thoughts when we are looking at the same symbol? Do our point of view changes according to different culture backgrounds? Is this song meaningful to you when you are reading the lyrics that have been translated? The above thoughts remind me of “punctum”, a term that introduced in Roland Barthes’s Camera Lucida:

Barthes refers to punctum as the element in a photograph that pricks or wounds the viewer. Punctum is not something that generally interests someone, such as a beautiful sunset or, most currently, a collapsing building, which might invoke a recollection of 9-11, thus a national identity. In locating punctum, Barthes wishes to locate only what he himself could see, not what others saw. Punctum was his way of forging individuality; it occurs when one least expects it. It is a small, overlooked detail. “The punctum, then, is a kind of subtle beyond – as if the image launched desire beyond what it permits us to see…”(C.L 59).

Barthes states that the importance of the punctum plays an important role that the meaning of a same photograph would be read differently according to different experiences of the viewers.

In this project, I am going to use punctum as an idea to remake elements came from these five people. Although meanings have been attached to each element when I recieved them, my mind gives a different interpretation from them. For me, experiences are usually appeared in a form of dynamic and personal depiction. Therefore, I would use videos to juxtapose with those still images/text , these juxtaposition could vary with different images/text. This process of remaking and remixing the represention of one’s identity demonstrate the complication of our mind, body and experiences. Symbols, languages and photographs represent our world ideally that generates a hypereality, to give us an I.D.

Sex, Blood and Mastabation

Last night, I went to the media show host by Lawrence, a second year film student. Sitting at hall 301, watching films with sex, blood and mastabation made me feel bad. If the goal of filmmaking is to make some ridiculous, outraging, graphical uncomfortable scene to catch people's attention, why not be a porn movie director? Show your work in somewhere else. Am I conservative? Am I stubborn? I don't know, I have no context of why film students in this school would produce such work.

I don't mean to say that's someone's fault. I just hope that we could take some ethics or critical studies classes and understand what's the meaning of visual representations. As a film producers, let's not waste our resources on filming your process of mastabation and screen them in front of us without any warnings.